he is full of it!

Mitchell is almost 8 years old and curious about "swear words." He is very interested in these lovely words that he is not supposed to use but other people sometimes do - not us of course, but some people. We tell him they are rude, or inappropriate; that people can be offended by them. We even tried a friend's approach, saying that people use swear words when they are not smart enough to think of something else to say. He also wants to know what they mean exactly... but they are often not easy to explain. And of course sometimes he tries one out, probably just to see what kind of reaction he gets. So today, when he was being silly, I rolled my eyes at him, and he said very matter-of-factly "I know. I'm made of shit." I wasn't angry with him for saying it; we figure too much of a reaction will increase the likelihood of hearing it again. But I was taken aback and not quite sure what he meant. I just looked at him for a minute, until it hit me: "Ahhhhh, you mean 'I'm full of shit!'"

what's in his underwear?

My twins were helping me put clothes in the washing machine yesterday. I was explaining to them how we sort clothes by colour, and how I have to check the clothes for stains, and check the pockets for "treasures", before I put them in the wash. So they were carefully examining each piece of clothing for signs of stains and checking pockets, when suddenly Taylor held up a pair of Mike's boxer-briefs and said "Look, Daddy has a pocket in the front of his underwear!"

my son is a city-boy

We have recently returned from our summer vacation visitng family in Nova Scotia. One day while driving from the cottage to town, Mitchell noticed a farm up on a hill. He surprised us when he asked incredulously "Why is there a house on that farm?" Of course living in Ottawa the "farm" that he has visited most frequently is the Central Experiment Farm - which, although a working farm, is a research facility and museum, not a family farm with a family home. He's such a city-boy!

where should you sit at a concert?

My mother was born and raised in Cape Breton, so I was very excited to see, for the first time, Natalie MacMaster, the phenomenal Cape Breton fiddler, in concert, at the Bluefest, last weekend. We got to Lebreton Flats a few minutes after the show started and were trying to find a spot to set up our lawn chairs when I got frustrated because we were so far back, and I couldn’t find a spot where no one was standing in front of us. Mitchell got frustrated with me and made this impatient remark: “Mommy, we don’t need to see. It’s a concert - we just need to listen!” Oh, yeah! Wait 'til you’re a teenager: no front-row tickets at rock concerts for you, Buddy.

who is the Prime Minister?

My kids watch the occasional movie or kids’ show on TV but they don’t watch the news, so they haven’t seen the latest brouhaha around Barack Obama’s statements about the Cambridge Police. However, at the time of his election they did learn about Barack Obama being the first black President of the United States. So I was not surprised when Mitchell was working on his art project with Taylor and named one of the characters Barack Obama. But I was surprised when Mike asked Mitchell, “Do you know who the Prime Minister of Canada is?” and Mitchell’s answer was: “George Washington??”

what's your dream job?

Mitchell and Taylor have been very busy lately with this project of making a civilization (complete with village maps) and drawing the people who live there. They have special notebooks exclusively for these drawings, and each of the people is sort of a cross between a bobble-head and an elf. For example, Taylor's latest character is an artist, complete with a paint palette, a painting smock, and a tasselled beret (she's got painting on the brain since doing a week of Art Camp).

When the drawing is complete, they then give the character a name and draw a little symbol at the end of the name to indicate what kind of job they have. So far I think the catergories are "sports", "sleepy heads", and "computer" - which, by the way, doesn't necessarily mean that they have desk jobs and work on computers. No, the "computer" category means that they "like their job." Like Taylor's artist. Or Mike, who counts prison inmates on the computer, and admittedly does like his job. Or myself, who works on the computer mostly to prep for teaching; and I too like my job.

For seven-year-olds these are your occupational choices as an adult: do sports (Mitchell's preference), sleep in and stay up late (Taylor's preference), or play at your job, whatever that job may be.

Hmmm, what's your preference? Personally, "I'll take all three categories, for my dream job, please Alex."

no one is going to see it!

The kids and I went to Giant Tiger this week and they each had two dollars to buy a treat. Taylor chose, much to my chagrin, icing-sugar-coated mini donuts.

When Mike and the kids dropped me off at the college in the van, Taylor wanted to give me a kiss but I balked because she had icing sugar all over her face. Mitchell thought that was pretty funny so reached out with his icing-sugar-covered hands to give me a hug. I was too slow, and he got icing sugar all over the front of my shirt.

When I complained that he had gotten my shirt dirty right before I had to teach, Taylor voiced her chagrin at my self-consciousness: "Mummy! No one is going to see your shirt!"

Mitchell suggested we do an experiment to see IF the students would be able to see the white icing-sugar on my teal-coloured shirt. He suggested I back away from the car and stand in front of the stairs - yup they could still see it. Stand at the top of the stairs - yup they could still see it. Stand in front of the door to the building - yup they could still see it.

I was right, they could see my shirt. But I also exaggerated - there were handprints, but they were not "all over" my shirt. I am SO glad that I am writing these things down so I can remind her not to worry about what people think of you when she is a teenager!

that one "snuck up" on me

This past weekend we went down to Morrisburg on the St Lawrence River to witness a re-enactment of a battle in the War of 1812 - a decisive battle that repelled the American attempt to annex Upper and Lower Canada into their new United States. Beside Upper Canada Village, at Crysler's Farm, a large number of "actors" (actually military history enthusiasts) dressed in period costume had set up a military encampment. After the re-enactment of the battle we wandered among the tents, learning about the hard life of some of the soldiers, checking out the various merchantile establishments, and observing the settlers at work making candles, cooking meals, and cleaning muskets. Mitchell and his friend each bought a wooden musket that they could sling over their shoulders. I asked Mitchell what other wooden guns he had seen for purchase and he said "We saw one like the one I have at home but Daddy says we have to sneak on that one." I asked him to repeat what he said a number of times trying to figure out what he meant. Finally I asked Mike what he had told Mitchell; what he had said was "We will have to "pass on" that one this time, buddy." Hard expressions to sort out: "sneak up on", "sneak past", or "pass on."

he cracks me up

My son Mitchell has an amazing vocabulary but he sometimes has a hard time retrieving the word he wants, when he wants to say something, and he often gets words or expressions mixed up (I am notorious for this myself). He is a sweet kid and can be a pretty funny. He likes to act silly and do slapstick comedy, and loves to make people laugh. Over the years he has heard many expressions as people have told him he "has ants in his pants," is "full of beans," or is "such a card." At some point during the day yesterday he was being funny and I said "Mitchell, you kill me." Then, when Mike and the kids were dropping me off at the college, and I was closing the trunk of the van, Mitchell yelled out to me "Mommy, you break me up!"

what colour is paper towel?

We were doing painting this afternoon and my daughter was doing paint-by-numbers. I explained to her that she should finish painting all the spots with one colour and then wash the brush before moving on to the next colour. She was not using water colours, so I suggested that she use a paper towel to squeeze the brush dry so that it won't be too wet for her paint pots. Later, when I went into the kitchen I saw her dry her brush on a hand towel. I said "I thought I asked you use a paper towel?" She said "We don't have paper towel." When I pointed out the paper towel holder beside the microwave, she said "That's not paper towel - paper towels are brown!" Of course! The paper towel in the washrooms at school and other public places IS brown.

who are our VIP's?

We went to see the Sunset Ceremony of RCMP Musical Ride. There were elevated levels in the grass around the parade ground for the audience to sit in lawn chairs or on the ground. At what would be the centreline at a hockey game was a section of chairs, covered by a tent to keep the rain off the VIP's. The VIP's were piped in by bagpipes, down a path lined with RCMP officers in their red dress uniforms. Once the VIP's took their seats under the tent, the ceremony began. The kids asked why those people got to have special seats. I explained that those are the VIP's - the "important" people. Taylor said "We are the most important people to you though. Right Mommy?" I couldn't argue with that!

why do they make fancy underwear?

We have been lucky enough to have been given lots of hand-me-downs for our kids. One bin of clothes contained a pair of La Senza cotton underwear, white with pink polka-dots, with lace bands around the waist and legs. Recently when Taylor was wearing a dress she kept pulling on her underwear. I asked her what was wrong and she said the underwear was uncomfortable. What she actually said was, "Why do they make fancy underwear anyway? It's not like anyone's going to see it!" I decided it was not the time to explain to her the circumstances under which someone might see her underwear, or why she might even want someone to - especially if it was fancy!

I need a shower

Taylor and I were planning to go out, and I told her I have to have a shower first. Her response: "Mommy, you do not need to have a shower every time we go out!" I can't wait to remind her of this when she is a teenager!